I’ve been waiting for the right time to start writing the final blog post, I have put it off so long I knew nobody would still be waiting on it. I think I just need to write it for myself, and also the book I’m turning the blog into. Until tonight I haven’t been able to slip into the right state of mind to write it. As I took my dog outside tonight, the air seemed perfectly crisp and cool but not too cold, reminded me of some of the first nights on the trip. As I turned to walk back into the house I stopped and gazed at the Bigelow mountain range silhouetted against a burnt orange evening sky. My mind flashed back to Montana, Nevada, Wyoming, and the likes. The mountain view, and the feeling of finally having sold the van, I knew I could write the final post tonight.
As I sit here reading back through the blog in the quiet house, home alone, I can remember all the details in the blog we didn’t write about. Every time I read a post I remember all the events, all the stops, all the sensations that didn’t make it into the blog that day…I remember on different days how the sun felt and how the air smelled...I hope that as time goes on, those memories don’t fade…
I’ve realized that I’ve already forgotten to be thankful for warm pajamas a reclining chair, running water, a sink – better yet, a dishwasher – and knowing where I’m going to sleep tonight.
Part of the reason it took so long to write the final blog post, is the same reason I took the road trip in the first place: life gets busy. So a short recap of our arrival home: After arriving home and surprising everybody it wasn’t long before me and Sierra said good-bye for the day and slept at our perspective houses. The feeling of being home was surreal, and took weeks to sink in. To everybody else it was just “Adam is home, things are back to normal”, but to me everything was different. After 50 days on the road all the comforts of home seemed to be such luxuries. BBQ’s ensued and lots of socializing occurred. Trying to explain the road trip to people proved and still proves to be challenging, and in a way impossible. People constantly ask what my favorite place or favorite memory was, and I don’t think I will ever have an accurate answer. In random conversations I can talk about the road trip and bring up specific instances and places, but know one can truly understand. Even for those of you who read the blog everyday, you’ll never know the full extent of the experience we had. I couldn’t talk long enough or remember the details to get you to fully grasp it, and even then, you’ll never really feel what we felt.
Now, in the midst of the chaos, whether at work or school, I think back to that feeling of not having a place to be for the rest of the day, or the next day. I remember the feeling of the way the van felt going to sleep, the feeling of pulling into a Walmart, and the soothing highway at night. I long for the freedom to look at a map and pick a place to go the next day. I miss the way it felt to walk through towns that are completely new, the feeling of perfectly tension free muscles, and the sensation of pulling into our destination.
I want so bad to do the trip again, expand on what we did. I know now what to do, what not to do, where to go, where not to go, and where to plan on spending more time. The thing is, I could do the trip a thousand more times and never see it all, nor satisfy the hunger to explore.
On a recent trip to Vegas, my Dad and I rented a car and visited the Grand Canyon and Hoover Dam, we traveled some of the same roads I traveled in the van over the summer. It was surreal to see and remember the landscapes.
I can’t wait to be get back out there throughout life, and revisit the beautiful spots and places we called home this summer. I can’t wait to go to the same campsites or the same hotel parking lots, and just sleep there to immerse myself back into my mind and re-live the memories. For now, I'll occasionally just put on James Taylor’s album: Hourglass,(the CD we listened to at least once a day on the trip… “at least” being the key word), and just re-live it in my mind.
Thank you to everyone we met along the way and everyone we got to spend time with. Thanks for all the support and thanks for following. And of course, thanks to my best friend Sierra, couldn't imagine doing a trip with anyone else, especially now.
As for the future, I will finish school and then go from there. I know what I want for a career and I’m not afraid to start. I’m just nervous to be tied down for the next 50 years not being able to ever feel as free again. Maybe I’ll spend a few years being a park ranger in Glacier N.P….or maybe I could just squeeze in one more trip…who knows.
-Adam
p.s. dont forget to scroll down and read sierras final post.